Your tits are I can't wait for
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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