i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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