I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
