Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
