At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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