but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
