i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
