At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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