think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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