What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
