If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
