Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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