got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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