Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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