I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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