Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
