My room smells like vodka and shame
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
