This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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