You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
