He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so let's talk penis.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
