how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
