Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
