Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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