U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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