I don't usually arrange sex via text message
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
