seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
