There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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