Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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