Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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