she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
