If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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