Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
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You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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