New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
