we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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