TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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