I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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