spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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