Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize