Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
