Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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