only if we run a train.
done.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bring money and cleavage
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
