found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
