...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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