I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
