No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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