if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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