Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
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all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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