I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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