I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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