Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
