If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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