I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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