He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
