i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
