:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
