All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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