You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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