I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
