Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.