Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bring me that man meat
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back