Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"

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  (319): Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in" http://tfl.nu/15za
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.

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  (270): So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/0mbm
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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  (301): I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy. http://tfl.nu/8tq8
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.

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  (321): When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me. http://tfl.nu/jzk3
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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  (617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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  (401): well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can http://tfl.nu/8xnn
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

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  (917): you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit http://tfl.nu/h4ki
  Replies (7) Good night (4550) Bad night (1101)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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  (440): I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood http://tfl.nu/iriz
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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  (864): Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants. http://tfl.nu/bdpr
  Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (727)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.

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  (425): Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun. http://tfl.nu/x8cc
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.

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  (252): My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/s2z9
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story

  (702): View more from Nevada

  they all just nodded

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  (702): My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story (702): they all just nodded http://tfl.nu/l03v
  Replies (6) Good night (2394) Bad night (961)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.

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  (630): It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales. http://tfl.nu/sbow
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.

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  (847): I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/z7fq
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good

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  (567): Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good http://tfl.nu/gp9h
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