If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
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so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER