do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
