is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
