Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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