I don't usually arrange sex via text message
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
