I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
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I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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