friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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