ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize