Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We're too hungover to prance.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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