Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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