could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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