Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
