Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
